Not too long ago I tagged along with a friend to visit the Apple Store. I wanted to get a peek at the latest iPad model, which as we all know represents the future of human communication. The new one comes complete with Bluetooth, WiFi, 4G connectivity, a video camera, a GPS navigational system, and an ice cube maker.
When you’re in the Apple Store you can tell it’s the Future, because everything is really, really white - especially the people who work there, who have clearly not seen any sort of sunlight since the first Bush administration.
On the way to the Apple Store we had to pass through the Mall, where the Future happens to be located. I have not been in any sort of Mall for quite a few years, since I only buy clothes in odd-numbered decades, and then only from the Salvation Army Fashion Superstore, so I was in for a few surprises.
Apparently at some point since my last Mall visit, the people who decide how to best serve the Mall-Visiting Public came to the conclusion that our overall shopping experience would be better if we just had tribes of Visigoth marauders posted at strategic locations throughout the central concourse and pillaging passing shoppers. These barbarian encampments are called “Kiosks.”
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