Welcome to What I've Learned So Far...
Welcome to the online home of Erma Bombeck award-winning humorist Mike Ball. Mike's column is a syndicated weekly feature that pops up in newspspers all over the United States. If your local paper doesn't carry What I've Learned So Far... call or email the editors, give them a link to this site, and tell them to get with it!
We also have readers from around the world who subscribe online. Please join them - it's free! And if you register you can join in the conversation by commenting on the columns right here on the site.
And if you want to meet Mike, check out the Schedule Of Appearances for a reading, signing, or singing near you.
In another life, Mike is the founder of Lost Voices, a nonprofit group founded to bring creative writing and roots music programs to incarcerated and at-risk kids. He was recently named USA Today Kindness Community Hero for this work.
All About Weddings
A friend just sent me a very cool link to a YouTube video shot at the wedding of a couple named Jill and Kevin. It consists of the wedding party entering the sanctuary of the small Minnesota church. Here's the link: http://bit.ly/mw4ha. As I am writing this, more than seven million people have watched this video.
For my YouTube challenged readers, this is not footage of a bunch of bridesmaids wearing dreamsicle-colored taffeta, stop-stepping along to Mendelssohn's "Wedding March." Instead, the entire wedding party dances down the aisle to the Auto-Tune drenched sound of Chris Brown singing "Forever," moving with a level of enthusiasm that actually renders the word "dance" a major understatement.
Can you imagine what the reception was like?
Go On - Hug A Hacker
A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that someone had replaced my home page with a picture of a monkey holding a gun, despite all sorts of server and network security. I have passwords for my passwords, and more passwords that allow me to get to the other passwords. And still they got in. And they posted a picture of a monkey holding a gun.
The obvious question is, "Why would anyone want to replace my home page with a picture of a monkey holding a gun?"
No, You Probably Didn't Win A Brand New iPhone
I love email.
I think email just might be the most powerful communication medium ever invented. Think about it; in a matter of seconds I can fire off a note to a reader in Jakarta, Indonesia thanking her for pointing out that three months ago I stranded a preposition in my column about dog poop. I can let her know that her alert assistance is something I will always be grateful for.
The best thing about email is that it's all completely free - if you don't count the $49.95 I spend every month on my high speed internet connection, or the roughly $150,000 I have invested in computer equipment that is now worth a total of maybe $75 on a good day.
But there is a down side to all this instant intercontinental kvetching. It's known as SPAM.
Talk Like A Technician
Here in the twenty-first century it is important for a writer to be technologically up-to-date. At a moment's notice we have to be ready to Google, Yahoo, Digg, Backflip, Gather, Bebo, Plaxo, Facebook, Newsvine, Myspace, Fark, Blog, Kaboodle, or Tweet.
I have heard rumors that one or two of us know what all that stuff means.
Way up toward the top of the modern writer's "You're Pretty Much Screwed If You Don't Have One" list is the Web site. This is an amazing modern communications tool that allows us to present our work to readers in the form of:
"404 ERROR - The Page You Have Requested Is Not Found! It is a safe bet that the doofus who owns this Web site has messed something up, probably forever. Please try again later. Or better yet, give up and go read something else. Like a book."
